clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize