is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
