garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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