NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
