Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Drunk is not a location!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
