I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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