I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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