and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
