"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
