Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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