No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
