I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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