that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
