Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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