If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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