after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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