Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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