I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
