Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
