As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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