There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
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On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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