Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
