Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
