We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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