let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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