I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
