Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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