I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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