I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have feelings that need drinking.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
