Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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