and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I faked an abortion last night.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
