I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
