watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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