doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
