Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
