Three words: puerto rican gang bang
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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