I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
