I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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