Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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