An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
3 2 1 whiskey
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
