my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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