508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
