JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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