Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
