I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
