I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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