He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My dick has a subreddit
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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