Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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