No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
