you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize