So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
