Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
