I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
