Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
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Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize